Okay here's the thing... God has asked me to do something that, til this point has brought such anxiety and fear that I almost can't breathe. Now the truth is I TRUST God. So why the fear, why the questions, why the negotiating with God. Well Monday at the Cran house will go down as meltdown Monday. I found myself literally wandering in circles around my house, watching the clock, waiting til it was time to get the kids cause then I have my excuses. "Lord i was busy being a mom and you call me to be the best i can be so sorry I didn't have time today, maybe tomorrow." Per my prior sentence you all know I did. Anyway Jeff can home and could tell I was out of sorts ( I don't know how cause I feel like I mask it well) anyway.. We started to chat and down came my defenses and out came the story of my day and the dam brought and out rolled all the emotion and tears I'd been avoiding. So in our conversation Jeff was able to encourage me and get me to back away from the proverbial cliff i was about to jump off. Well as we all know that with kids and life the night went on, my distractions proved exactly that, distractions. Isn't it amazing how fast we can stuff our self back in and pour ourselves out for our kids. The night ended with me doing my bible study, and Cooper can up and asked what I was doing. I told him bible study and his eyes lit up and he said, " hold on a sec." He ran off and returned with his adventure bible. That alone sent my heart off beat but then he said," you tell me the verse and I'll look it up for you." So that's how my bible study went that night. Coop sitting on the arm of my bible study chair looking up verses and reading them to me. We ended with a fun kid devotion and family prayer. Now you would think that was the ending to a great night but God wasn't done with me yet that day. After goodnight kisses and everyone being tucked in. Jeff looks at me and says," Babe how are we going to fix your thoughts?" Loaded question! With tears I said I wasn't sure but I'd let him know when I knew. And Then....
Jeff said," Babe can I pray for you?" Now I have an amazing leader for a husband and I KNOW he lifts me up in prayer everyday, he prays with the kids BUT to pray over me out loud in front of me doesn't happen much.
He began to pray and he asked God many things and rebuked satan but what my ears heard the most is every question, every petition, every command, had my name in it. Christy, Christy, Christy. My husband was saying my name to the Savior of the world. I have never loved my name more. And I have never felt more seen and loved by my husband.
Off the sappy note our names are OURS and ours alone. Even if others are titled by the same our name is ours. And Jeff and I call each other babe or he calls my babycakes but we don't use our real names often. It reminds me when Savi as about 3 1/2 she said to me," Mommy do you know I'm someone in particular?" Now she like to use big words early so my question was always,"Do you know what in particular means?"With a crocked smile and a tilted head she say yes. So my next question was what. " Mommy its because I have a name. Everyone who has a name is in particular." Touche'
So I was thinking that we are all inparticular. and to our Savior we are not just a bunch of believers we are inparticular, one of a kind, the only one He made just like that. We are Christy or Amy or Shannah or Sharon or Joanne or Patti. Your name is just yours.We are not just one of many we are His daughter known and named and chosen and claimed. Celebrate that today!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment