Bridges

So for the last 6 months or so I've been asking God to show me how to become the girl He wants me to be? I see her, shes across the river from where I am today. But how do I get there, that's my dilemma. Now I'm smart like you so I know its a bridge. But whats it made of? See the me I am today needs to logically and emotionally get across the river. So the bridge can't be made of sticks and stones, no building material necessary.

I've tried to figure out what it might take to get over there but each time I've tried to build it myself its fallen apart. So here I sit on my side of the shore. I'm a swimmer so the thought has crossed my mind. But its a rapidly moving river full of self doubt, fear, insecurity, panic, shame, guilt. Its not friendly water. So I definitely need a bridge.

In the midst of this dilemma God asked some pointed things of me. Go buy a binder, buy notebook paper, buy index cards. After I bought them He said, " put the paper in the binder, put sheet protectors in the binder, put a rubber band around the index cards." If your not laughing, go ahead and do it now. I'll wait....
I laughed, I thought am I crazy, is God really saying this or am I. Now my advise is simple. If God tells you to do IT, do IT. Whatever IT may be. Because He was getting me ready for my answer. I didn't know this but that's what happened.

I sat down to read "The Final Summit" by Andy Andrews. And on a random page in the middle of the book was my answer. And it was....

SELF DISCIPLINE!!!!

In the book the sentence went like this..." Self discipline is the bridge between what you are and what you wish to become. And unless you change how you think and how you act, you will always be what you are." I sat there is awe for a few minutes then I started to cry and laugh at the same time. Relief flooded me. Just to have the question answered. But also at that moment the scales feel off my eyes (Acts 9:18 KJV). All of the sudden things I've known became clear. The best way for me to describe it is... I felt like I was holding a handful of Connect 4 pieces. At that moment I knew which column to put them in. All my thoughts and goals were in their place and I could see the path. Deep breath moment.

So off I go. Now I need to set the right boundaries around my heart and mind, around my  activitys with my body and schedule, around what I don't want to do, to get to where I do want to go. It will come down to choices and self discipline.

I'm excited and a little scared to meet the Christy, God wants me to be. Mostly excited. I know its my job to make the bridge a strong one. With God's help I know I can cause...
I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength. (Col.1:17,Matt. 19:26, Rom. 8:28,8:37)

My thoughts for you is.. go find your bridge. Cross it and don't look back.