wildfires

I grew up in Southern California so every year the Santa Ana winds would come and reek havoc. Fires would start and fire fighters would valiantly battle them. The fires would eventually distinguish and if it didn't effect you personally then life would go on. But what about the peoples whose lives were affected? What then, for them? What about the trees and plants, the wild life that had been displaced? I so carelessly went on without a second glance. Shame on me. The Lord has captured my heart in a way that I can no longer just send up a quick prayer.  He makes me want to be different. He has put compassion in my heart that doesn't allow me to ignore others. It's so good yet so painful. to watch others suffer without a solution. That''s where He comes in.
 But what if we are the ones the fire hits?
This year my life has been hit by wildfires. Not a real fire but a proverbial fire.
 The kind that put me in a boxing ring with God.
He won of course but in the process I found out how big He really is.
He is big enough for me to be mad at Him.
He is big enough for my question.
He is big enough for my tears.
He is big enough to fix it.
And I learned that I need to trust even when it doesn't make sense.
Even when He chooses another way and does use my suggestions.
  Wildfire #1You see on January 11th,2011 God stopped a clock in my life. My sweet Joanne had a massive stoke. Spent weeks in a coma and has been battling back ever since. The road has been long and hard and she is still in the middle of treatment and not totally back to normal. She is brave and strong, even when she doesn't feel it. This was a huge wildfire in my life. My friend had something happen and I couldn't change it. Couldn't pray my way passed it. Couldn't joke my way out of it.
   Wildfire #2 My dad's illness gets the better of him on some days. I want to breathe for him. I don't want him to struggle but I can't change that either. His balance is goofy now and I would like to steady him. But I can't. He's a fighter and even when doctors don't think he can battle back, he does. Yet I wish he didn't have to battle.
   Wildfire #3 My honey lost his job. July 1st was his last day. He is such an amazing man and I struggle with employers not seeing that. Their loss but still, here we are.
  These are just the big ones, the ones I can't stomp out. But here's what I'm learning....
God is big enough
He doesn't need my help, just my trust
In the middle there is no seeing the outcome. But God has a different view point.
After I step back, off of God's toes, and see Him at work and I experience joy and love.
I get to love my friends and family, extravagantly.
Wildflowers grow out of the burned up.
My wildflowers have been.
#1 Having a friend that is still here with me. We can still live, love, dream together.
#2 I can visit and cheer my dad on often. He's still mine and I get to love him.
#3 Lots of family time. We had a great summer being together in a way that isn't possible with Daddy working. We are still a loving unit.
See God doesn't always save us from the wildfires in our life's but He does see us through them.