So I assumed that finding the bridge would change everything. Haha. It changed nothing except my knowledge of what it was. So here I sit still on the wrong side of the bridge. The bridge in front of me.
All I have to do is start walking.
I step out.
The bridge holds.
A few tentative steps.
Deep breathe.
And then...
Satan starts whispering loudly.
"wrong way."
"He will ask to much of you, come back."
All the while the Lord is beckoning me from the other side.
Not competing with Satan, beckoning. ( God knows Hes already won the fight)
I find myself looking forward, then back.
Which way do I go. My heart knows the way but my flesh is putting up a good fight.
I am a tight rope in the tug of war on the bridge between good and evil.
I'm frustrated and scared, yet excited and anticipating something wonderful when I finally become her.
I'm going!!!
This morning my son had a situation with a tummy ache. There he sat on the potty complaining about his tummy. Then it happened ( you know it.) I asked him if he felt better.
" No", he said, " I'm doing what my tummy tells me but its still hurting."
Now I know only a mommy could take a potty experience and see God. That's exactly how I am feeling. I'm doing what your asking Lord but it still hurts. Its still scary. I'm still fearful. Sometimes, no all the time I KNOW that its better to walk that scary bridge, one tentative step at a time than stay put. So with fear and excitement, hope and worry, faith and belief all wrapped up together I'm stepping out. Doing the crazy thing. Being God's girl even in the middle of my fear. ( and I mean middle. I can't see the end but I will trust there is one.)
If God is for me, I can become fearless, or just braver.
